Murder Ordained (1987)

MURDER ORDAINED

“I experienced the authentic
appetite of a writer on the track
of a story. I have attributed
that rare elation to the hero
of the book, making him in
the process a poet instead 
of a novelist.”—Evelyn Waugh
The Loved One
___________________

Pastiche and coincidence—the story of my life
After all, I was born & raised in The Waste Land

The grim gothic gruesome Fly Over State—
That vast Nothingness between LA and NYC

Don’t look back is a pretty good philosophy—
But don’t look down on Kansas far below either

Because what you see is what you get—
And the getting, my dear, just isn’t worth it
___________________

I’m not as gloomy as Eliot or Evelyn Waugh—
The Midwest is Entertainment Tonight for me

All those sad extravagantly Gothic facades—
Those flat nasally Plains twangs and drawls

I treat them all as frivolous, gaily cockeyed—
Burlesques and riotous harlequinades

When confronted with such tragic people—
I try to restrain myself from being too trashy
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Grant Wood irony sometimes works best—
Dealing with bigoted, rancorous Kansas creeps

The Bright Young People all flee Emporia—
Seeking gay insouciance in LA and NYC

Leaving behind all the Vile Bodies condemned—
To dance their giddy dance on condemned ground

Kansas with its Red State picturesque ignorance—
And enduring barbaric Old Testament Christianity
_____________________

Tom Brown’s Body continually rising from its grave—
Stirring up wily Repug promoters, big and small

The limitless efficiency of a Wal Mart mentality—
Twinkies, Iowa Beef and Tyson disillusionment

The Movers and Shakers of Cowtown Emporia—
Desperately tried it all for the Big Time Show

Now the Somali and Hispanic illegal aliens have—
All fled leaving bankruptcy, greedy bigots adrift
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All the hopes for some kind of fiscal relief—
Focused on the dingbat little teachers college

Hoping that student tuition and outside money—
Will somehow save Emporia from downfall

Meanwhile on the trusty religious front—
A coruscating tour de force of Old Time Religion:

“Murder Ordained” (1987) a romantic evocation—
Vanished splendors and Bird Bridge romances
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The intoxicating pleasures of Lutheran sex and—
Small town gangbanging in the church backroom

The discovery of this dismal adulterous world—
By the blind innocent church-going Emporians

Simply devastating the whole community—
Its shamelessly dirty linen a made for TV movie

Lorna Anderson’s unhappy marriage matched—
Only by Reverend Bird’s savage night outing
______________________

Slugging his wife on the head with a bottle of—
Cheap Jacques Bonet champagne and then

Dumping her over the bridge railing and driving—
Her car down into the muddy Cottonwood River

Lorna not much better murdering her husband—
On the side of the road one dark highway night

Unhappy marriages and illicit love affairs—
Are nothing new to this awful old Wicked World
______________________

But Lorna and Reverend Bird did it with Style—
Murdering their spouses for insurance money

Poor Emporia got overripe and ran riot—
Making Peyton Place blush with embarrassment

The Local People Who Be hushing it all up—
Especially the horny bankers and politicians

The Emporia Gazette could spill the beans—
Just ask the Mayor Bobbi Mlynar who knows