Why I Hate Kansas

WHY I HATE KANSAS

And so, here I am at the Granada—
Someday it will be a Bingo Parlor

The Baby Boomer days are gone—
I’m the last Baby Boomer Badboy

The old Snake Pit Drive In Theater—
Gone like Vegas Elvis the Pelvis

No more Sexploitation skin flicks—
Like Creature from the Black Lagoon

Gone the Giant Gila Monster—
And the campy Devil Girl from Mars

Attack of the Giant Shrews so cool—
And those awful Atom Age Vampires

You see, I Walked With A Zombie—
I was a Werewolf In A Girls Dormitory

The cheesy Plan 9 From Outer Space—
It was all about Cowtown Emporia

The Attack of the Giant Leeches—
Just look at the Re-Echo Yearbook

Those booze & dope Saturday nights—
Getting a Blowjob in the balcony

All those crummy high school dayz—
Cruising up & down the Main Drag

I got married to The Wasp Woman—
I ended up The Man Made Monster

I live in The House on Haunted Hill—
Don’t Look in the Basement 

Because I’m down there, baby—
Like that’s where I live now