Lovely Cow Patty Town

Bobbi Ann Mlynar—

Retains that lovely rather

Bleak Kansas outlook

Right out of that Grant Woods—

“American Gothic” rather stark

depressing Kansas painting

Returning to Emporia once—

After graduating from college

I took a little bike ride

To reminisce and enjoy—

The sweet memories of my

Kansas bildungsroman boyhood

West of town past the old—

Anderson Shit Yard & the gone

Roller Rink on Old Hwy 50

My grandfather Larkin—

Former County Commissioner

Once lived way out there

The Doodlebug tootle-loo’d—

Down by the Santa Fe tracks

It was quite Idyllic, my dears

Madame Mlynar lived—

Way out there, sitting on her

Steps bored as I went by

She didn’t wave at me—

Her big dog attacked me &

Bit me on my little footsy

She sat there on her big—

Fat ass, sneering grimly at

My tres painful predicament

She’d never much liked me—

There at EHS and probably

Despised me like all the rest

That same grim gothic look—

On her pinched mayoral face

Simply said it all, my dears

It epitomizes for me—

The Stoic Americana gothic

Attitude of Red State Kansas

Right out of that Grand Wood—

Stark painting or even worse

Edward Hopper’s “Nighthawks”

It was then and there—

That I swore I’d never ever

Return to the Fly Over State

Along with Hostess Twinkies—

And Saccharine Sweet Ding Dongs

Adieu, Goodbye to Cow Patty Town