STRONG CITY

“The widest prairies

have electric fences”

—Philip Larkin, WIRES

_____________

But before that—

There were vast prairies

With just plain barbed wires

Wrapped around these—

Megalithic limestone posts

Used for demarcations

_____________

Big thick fossil-encrusted—

Easter Island slabs from

Some gone Cenozoic Era

Much of Chase County—

Once a long-gone vast

American Inland Sea

___________

Before electricity zapped—

Wandering Heifer Herds

Jurassic Monsters thrived

Long before young cowboys—

At the local County Rodeo

Prehistoric Pricks ruled

Ghost Town

KANSAS GHOST TOWNS

“tense, musty,

unignorable silence”

—Philip Larkin,

CHURCH GOING

___________

Olpe, Allen, Americus—

There’s nothing going on

In these towns anymore

More ghost towns—

Bite the dust, all that’s

Left is some fading memories

_________

Even that doesn’t last long—

Then maybe a collection of

Old photos and snapshots

Memorabilia of a gone—

Midwestern Era that some

Of us may still remember

__________

Now it’s happening—

To Emporia, Kansas that

Lovely Athens of the Midwest

Once it had two colleges—

Now it barely has one with

Degrees worth shit anymore

___________

So what if you’ve got a—

Business Degree or even an

Esteemed Harvard MBA?

This New Great Depression—

Without any FDR Savior is

On the Event Horizon of Hell

____________

Lots of Downtown Emporia—

Boarded-up and bankrupt

WalMart & Flint Hill Mall rules

There’s always the adorable—

Hostess Twinkies though to

Lift one’s dour stoic spirits

WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE

“someone would

know: I don’t”

—Philip Larkin,

CHURCH GOING

___________________

Midwestern minions—

On the move looking for

A new ELMER GANTRY

Flocking to the sacred

Red Rocks Temple there

On shady Exchange St

_________

Tea and crumpets—

Maybe even a nice petite

Soul-searching Reading

Recounting the Life—

Of pretty tres precocious

Mary White of Emporia

____________

The attic is haunted—

Supposedly by the ghost of

The great GAZETTE Editor

Mounting the Lectern—

Clearing his throat and

Then hectoring the Mob

_________

Bombastic Editorials—

Worthy of Teddy Roosevelt

Calvin Coolidge & the rest

I sign the book and—

Donate ten bucks toward

The Future of Emporia

A GAZETTE EDITORIAL

“the place was not

worth stopping for”

—Philip Larkin,

CHURCH GOING

_____________

And yet stop I did—

In fact I often do, ending

Up usually this same way

Wondering what I’m seeing—

What there is to look at this

Falling completely out of use

___________

What shall they turn it into—

Keeping the town chronically

For a local quaint showpiece?

Letting the town rot & decay—

Avoiding it like some unlucky

Place haunted by old ghosts?

__________

Obituaries full of dead people—

Roberts-Blue beloved ones

Buried out there at Maplewood?

Superstition like belief—

Outmoded and dying like some

Riddle that was never solved?

_________

Smooth flat mowable cemetery—

Tombstones but what remains

When even disbelief has gone?

Weeds, gravelly path, old tombs—

Their purpose more obscure as

The years creep by like snails?

KENYON HEIGHTS

“Bored, uninformed,

knowing the ghostly silt”

—Philip Larkin,

CHURCH GOING

________________

Here I am retired—

In a lovely apartment

In the new Kenyon Heights

The swanky remodeled—

C of E Administration Bldg

For aging Emporia retirees

____________

I was born across the street—

At Newman’s on West Twelfth

Via Roberta Eckdall’s grandfather

As Richard Doxtator said—

We’re all dying at different rates

Such an astute EHS philosopher

_________

Yes, I’m rotting ever so slowly—

The view from my west windows

Overlooks Maplewood Cemetery

I’m sort of like C of E it seems—

My purpose gets more & more

Obscure like the Carnegie Library

MAPLEWOOD CEMETERY

“It pleases me to

stand in silence here”

—Philip Larkin,

CHURCH GOING

____________

Reeble’s Monument Business—

Must have made a mint over the

Years with all the funeral homes

Grinding away at all the granite—

Tombstones to enshrine fading

Memories of the Dearly Beloved

________

Margaret Reeble butch bull dyke—

Stomping in & out of Reeble’s South

Glaring at schmaltzy bagboy me

I was deadly afraid of her—

And so was everybody else there

In that ancient Grocery Store Tomb

____________

Ship’s Lounge across the street—

My tall lanky skuzzy stepfather who

Had more than a few tall cool ones

His rundown Mechanics Shop there—

Across the street on Commercial with

His dirty greasy awful finger nails

EMPORIA KANSAS

“A serious house on

serious earth in whose bent

air all my compulsions lie”

—Philip Larkin,

CHURCH GOING

______________

Down by the tracks in a little town—

Plopped down like a cow-turd there

Along the sad lonely Santa Fe tracks

What more can I say that the—

Diva Bette Davis hasn’t already said

Like I fastened my seatbelts, honey

_________

Small towns fuck you up—

The same with your mom and dad

They may not mean to, but they do

You end up with their faults—

And add some extra bad karma just

To torment you & keep you busy

______________

Small towns are fucked up—

They get even more drunken-mean

With naïve chicken like you and me

A serious little fucking town—

Serious stoic Red State Republican

With its plans mapped out for you

GANG BANGING IN KANSAS

“Man hands on misery to man.

Get out as early as you can”

—Philip Larkin,

THIS BE VERSE

________________

Heteronormativity deepens—

Like mud and sludge down the

Mississippi River to the Gulf

Past the bad boy Big Easy—

But in Emporia it’s with the

Flooded Neosho & Cottonwood

__________

It’s lucky I didn’t come out—

Back then in the Reagan Era

When Just Say No was Password

Then came Clinton’s mantra—

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell but that

Didn’t do any fucking good at all

______

Need I go on, my dears, with—

The usual deadly Plague Roll Call

Did ACT-UP really do any good

And then there was the lovely—

SF Gay Baghdad by the Bay with

Milk and Moscone slaughtered dead

__________

The tender Tentacles of Death—

Even reached down to innocent

Wizard of Oz Kansas in Emporia

My favorite gay flamboyant—

Flaming Cheerleader a la pom-poms

Jimmy Stevens suddenly died

Here in Kansas

HERE IN KANSAS

“Loneliness clarifies
—Philip Larkin, Here
____________

It’s a little on the edge of—
things, it doesn’t really go 
anywhere by design you know

Swerving east and west—
Burlington-Santa Fe Railroad
No longer very romantic
____________

No Santa Fe Super Chief—
Cary Grant & Eva Marie Saint
NORTH BY NORWEST romance

Freight trains instead grinding—
Away off to solitudes we no
Longer know much about
__________

Industrial shadows of some—
Other zone, no more stops at
The gutted Santa Fe Station

The surprise of small towns—
Skies and scarecrows, elevators
Swerving at dawn to solitude
________________


What ends is the land—
Suddenly beyond the reach
Of a railroad station

Unfenced existence back—
Again, facing the sun, out
Of reach and untalkative

THE MOUSE PALACE MOTEL 

“I work all day, and get 
half-drunk at night.”
—Philip Larkin, Aubade
__________

They gave up on me a long time ago—
I’m the shambling Mouse Motel Wreck

Out there on East Sixth & Union—
My heyday was way back then in 1949
___________

Now I wake at four to soundless dark—
I stare at the curtain-edges growing light
  
Till then I see what’s really always there—
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now
___________
   
Making all thought impossible but how—
And where and when I shall myself die

Arid interrogations, the dread of dying—
and being dead, flashes afresh to horrify
______________

The mind blanks at the glare of day—
In remorse, good not done, love not given
   
Torn off unused wretchedly because—
Only life can take so long to kick the bucket
__________

All the wrong beginnings that never end—
next the total emptiness lasting forever

The sure extinction that we travel to—
The Mouse Motel out there on Sixth Avenue
__________

Shall we be always lost, not to be here—
Not to be there, not to be anywhere?

This is a special kind of being afraid—
No trick dispels the Mouse Motel Miasma
_____________

Religion used to try, its vast moth-eaten—
Musical brocade created to just pretend

Nor the stately, elegant Plumb Mansion—
With the Grand Army of the Republic ladies
__________

Pounding away at the piano and singing—
JOHN BROWN’S BODY RISEN FROM THE GRAVE

Now a nice home for young unwed mothers—
Displaced by the great Athens of the Midwest
__________

At least the Plumb Mansion has a future—
Illegitimate life is certainly better than none

But look at me poor destitute Mouse Motel—
All I have left is my vagrant Hwy 50 memories
________________

We never die, it’s specious stuff that says no—
Only decaying mansions know the awful truth

Rational beings fear a thing it cannot see—
Not seeing that this is what we all fear so
_________________

No sight, no sound, no touch, taste or smell—
nothing to think with, nothing to love with

The Anesthetic from which none come round—
And so it stays just on the edge of our vision
_______________
  
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill—
That slows each impulse down to indecision
  
Most things may never happen, this one will—
And realization of it stages all our fears
____________

We’re caught without People or Drink—
Courage is no good, screaming doesn’t help

It means not scaring others even though—
Some are heard crying out as lost ghosts
_____________

Being brave lets no one off the hook—
Death’s indifferent to whining and kvetching

Slowly light strengthens, the room takes—  
Shape plain as a Motel Vacancy Sign
______________

What do I know about anything really—
I’ve always known only that I can’t escape
  
I accept being a rundown old Mansion—
The Mouse Motel here by Sixth Avenue
____________

Someday I’ll just simply have to go—
People in Emporia downtown won’t care

The Emporia world begins to forget—
The Kansas sky turns pale white as clay

HIGH WINDOWS 

“Bonds and gestures pushed to one side
Like an outdated combine harvester”
—Philip Larkin, High Widows
____________

The high C of E windows—
The sunset stained glass

And beyond it the shadows—
Maplewood Cemetery waiting
_________

Everyone old dreams—
About it in the evenings

Jobs and families pushed to—
One side now that it’s time
_________

Like some outdated John Deere—
Combine harvester left to rust

A Chevy pickup in a field—
Abandoned in overgrown weeds
_________

Happiness evades us as the—
Here & now rules ruthlessly

Possessing us unthinkingly—
As if it would like last forever 

928 CONSTITUTION 

“I search the address on 
Google Maps and, via 
"Street view," find myself 
face to face”—David Trinidad
9773 Comanche Avenue
____________

In this photograph—
My childhood house looks
Gaunt and spectral at sunset

But then everything looked—
That way in Emporia, Kansas
At least it seemed that way
__________

I inherited the house from—
My grandparents, it was a
Few blocks from the campus

It was just a little two-bit—
Midwestern teachers college 
Town next to the railroad tracks
________

The Santa Fe ran thru town—
Most of the people worked there
Including Walter my grandfather

Later he became one of the—
Local country commissioners
But had a stroke and died
_______

I went to college and got my—
Degree in Librarianship then
Retired as a gay recluse poet

I rented rooms to promising—
Young English majors who like
Needed sugar daddy guidance
____________

Faulkner writes about the way—
The light in August is somehow
Different down in Mississippi

It’s that way in Kansas too—
The way it slants down through
The stained-glass windows
____________

It’s funny the way that—
Midwestern Noir seeps down
Into you when you’re retired

No wonder one gets stoic—
Resigned and despondent as
The evenings lengthen dark

Sunken Garden

THE SUNKEN GARDEN 

1

“I want to be / at least 
as alive as the vulgar.”
—Frank O’Hara

There was this nelly—
Cheerleader who was
Simply shameless

Long before camp—
You should have seen
Him do the pom-poms

He had simply no shame—
He was one of the girls
He flaunted Fag Femininity
________________

2

“you were made in the image 
of god / I was not / I was made 
in the image of a sissy truck-driver”
—Frank O’Hara

I tried to butch it up—
I was biting my fingernails
Deep in the closet

No matter how much—
I tried to act muy macho
I was still a sissy faggot

I admired you so much—
For your flagrant faggotry
You were “out” all the way!
_________________________

3

“so that in the end you seem 
to be the only one who knows 
what the subject of a poem is”
—James Schuyler

The shame of being gay—
Seems so truly camp since
Everybody knew anyway

I swished, I minced—
I lisped whenever I dared
To open my faggy mouth

Yet you flaunted it—
At the Basket Ball games
Everyone simply loved it!!!
_____________

4

“Oh! Kangaroos, sequins, 
chocolate sodas! You 
really are beautiful! Pearls,
Harmonicas, jujubes”
—Frank O’Hara

It wasn’t New York City—
I didn’t work at the chic
Museum of Modern Art

I was a soda-jerk—
At the local Peter Pan 
Ice Cream joint 

I was good at making—
Hot Fudge Sundays and 
Jizzy fizzy lovely sodas 

I flirted with the local—
Campus jocks and studs
Scooped out free ice cream

Sometimes it worked—
The Kansas City boys
Smirked, but let me
_____________

5

“The stuff they’ve always 
talked about / Still makes 
a poem a surprise! /These 
things are with us every day”
—Frank O’Hara

The little things—
Growing up even like I
Did still in the closet

It was still a surprise—
So much young male
Beauty back in the ‘60s

Peter Pan was just—
A block south of KSTC
I was there waiting
___________________

6

“partly because of the 
secrecy our smiles take on 
before people and statuary”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

The Sunken Garden—
South of campus next
To gone Norton Hall

Like a scene out of—
SUMMER AND SMOKE
Alma doing Earl Holliman 

That’s where I did them—
Guys I hustled for more
Than just a free soda
____________

7

“Even more fun that going 
to San Sebastian, Irún, 
Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

Why go anywhere else—
Some exotic Mexican or
Polynesian sex hotspot?

When Kansas cock is—
Just as big and succulent
As the dick I got

And honey, I’m glad it’s
The Flyover State ‘cause
It leaves more to me!!!
___________

8

“partly because of the 
fluorescent orange tulips 
around the birches”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

Especially in the spring—
That’s when I loved to
Give them blow-jobs

The gurgling fountain—
The lovely bushes for my
Trysts with Kansas cock

What more could a meek—
Mere William Allen White 
Faggy librarian ask for?

9

“partly because of my love 
for you, partly because of 
your love for yogurt”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

Hardly, my dear—
It was more like delicious
Hot Fudge Sundays

That was your favorite—
Me skinning back the ripe
Bananas like a foreskin

Then ogling you gobble—
It up knowing that I’d
Get you off after work

10

“it is hard to believe 
when I’m with you that 
there can be anything
as still as solemn”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

Down there in depths—
Of the Sunken Fountain
Late on Friday nights

The bottled fetuses—
Over there in the display
Cabinets of Norton Hall

Writhing in ecstasy—
As I gulped your cumly
Squirting nasty offspring

11

“just as at home I never 
think of the Nude Descending 
a Staircase”—Frank O’Hara, 
Having a Coke with You

Who needs Duchamp—
When I’ve got you to be
My fickle Freshman lover?

You prefer chicks but—
They all give you the usual
No pussy hanky-panky, guy!

Naturally I commiserate—
Here have a nice Fudge Sunday
Later getting you off succulently
____________

12

“and the fact that you 
move so beautifully more 
or less takes care of Futurism”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

Who needs a Nude—
Descending a Staircase
When I’ve got you?

I’d take you home—
But you prefer the
Campus Sunken Garden

The way you flex—
Your ass when you cum
Who needs Miss Duchamp?
______________

13

“when they never got the 
right person to stand near 
the tree when the sun sank”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

I was like Geraldine Page—
I’d won an argument that
I didn’t want to win

Being gay in a Kansas—
college town wasn’t the
easiest thing, my dears

I took a pill for my—
Nelly nerves though 
And calmly did him

14

“it seems they were
all cheated of some 
marvelous experience”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

So I stayed closeted—
Working there at William 
Allen White Library

In those calm Eisenhower—
Years like Elsie Pine my
Mentor wanted me to do

The same with pianist—
Vernon Sheffield who
Gave exquisite recitals

16

“wasted on me 
which is why I am
telling you about it”
—Frank O’Hara, Having a
Coke with You

So like a nelly fool—
I stayed, oblivious to
Nothing but my Muse

Wasn’t this where—
I was supposed to
Become Miss Barrie?

Peter Pan Park—
Peter Pan soda jerk
Peter Pan gay poet?